On Thin Ice

The Washington Post's Sally Jenkins has a column today defending figure skating as a sport. These types of arguments miss the point, however.

Put aside the obvious issues, such as the amount of makeup and all the frilly stuff, though as even Jenkins points out, "if they weren't wearing spangly suits made of mauve taffeta, we wouldn't be having this conversation" -- and she is talking about the men. No one can seriously dispute that doing what is required to be an Olympics-level figure skating requires great athleticism. But so does ballet.

No, the problem with figure skating at the Olympics is that it is not athletic competition. It is simply too subjective. Think of it this way: In the downhill skiing event, whoever gets to the bottom of the hill in the least amount of time wins. It does not matter what country he is from, whether he was expected to win, whether he has won before, and, in particular, what he looks like. Only the time matters.

In figure skating, however, performances are judged by human beings, which (despite recent developments in light of the rigging -- a separate though not unrelated problem -- of the pairs event in the last Olympics) remains inherently subjective and therefore unmeasurable. No judge can ever be right, and no judge can ever be wrong. It is no different than the decisions made by the judges on "American Idol."

So, if you enjoy your athletic feats with large amounts of subjectivity and the most darling outfits you have ever seen, have fun with the skating. I have something else to do.