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I like soccer the way George Bush likes fiscal conservatism -- a few weeks of it every four years is plenty. Perhaps the soccer fans out there can answer what for me are two key questions raised by the World Cup action:

1. Why, after every goal, does the scorer race toward the corner of the field and make all the other players chase him? What's up with that?
2. Why does what is supposed to be the premier sporting event in the world use officials who appear to have been trained by FEMA? How many times have you seen this the past couple of weeks: Player A gets entangled with Player B, who then collapses like he has just been shot by a sniper, and the referee jogs over and whips out the yellow or red card on Player A? What's that all about?