Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Never-ending Shame

The Bush Administration has been chock full of shameful moments -- there's been "Mission Accomplished;" "Heckuva job, Brownie" and its aftermath; a botched war that has taken more than 3,000 American lives; and the failure to make Americans significantly safer despite great financial and constitutional cost, to name but a few. But nothing better illustrates just how far off the moral rails the President and his main henchmen, the Prince of Darkness and Attorney General Alberto Gonzalez, have taken this country than the case of Jose Padilla. Dahlia Lithwick does a good job showing why here.

Senior officials of our government have used and misused their full powers to destroy this man. It doesn't matter whether he has done what the government now says he has done, not that anyone should believe what the Justice Department says about Padilla given how much of what they said previously has been stashed in their ever-expanding "Never Mind" file. What matters is that Padilla is an American citizen arrested in America, yet for years he was denied the most basic constitutional rights and subjected to abusive and degrading treatment on a daily basis, including nearly three years in solitary confinement and a variety of other tactics that are not inflicted on even the most depraved criminals among us, criminals who, I hasten to add, have actually had trials and been convicted of something.

The government's zeal to convict Padilla of something, anything, has led to the tawdry spectacle of this week's hearing to determine if Padilla is competent to stand trial. A judge ruled late today that he is. And so this shameful exercise in personal and constitutional destruction moves forward.

Not in My House

I'm not sure what the Hall of Fame Veterans Committee is trying to accomplish, but they're sure not going about it very well. Now that the committee has failed to vote anyone into the Hall for the third consecutive time, talk has begun of revamping the process. But that's the wrong solution. They should simply do away with the committee.

I have written before of my bafflement regarding players who seem to grow in esteem the farther they get into their retirement years. Players get on the ballot five years after their final seasons, then remain subject to judgment for 15 years so long as they reach minimum vote totals. I have never quite understood why a player who has failed to convince 75 percent of HOF voters -- most if not all of whom have seen the player in the prime of his career -- within 20 years that they should get in should continue to be considered for who knows how many more years. I would make an exception, of course, for the Negro League players who never received real consideration from the baseball writers. Some process also would have to be created so that managers and other non-players could be considered. But that could easily be accomplished within the context of the regular voting.

And it's not like the current Veterans Committee has distinguished itself. Of the 81 voters, only 51 voted for Marvin Miller, the former head of the players union. You can make a compelling case that Miller is the most significant baseball figure of the past 40 years. Anyone who says he is not among the five most significant figures during that time period simply has no idea what he is talking about. He almost single-handedly, for better or for worse (better, of course, for all the millionaires he created), revolutionized the sport by freeing players to sell their talents on the open market. I love some of the writers and broadcasters who have been voted in recently, but there is a serious problem with a Hall of Fame that includes Harry Kalas or Ernie Harwell but not Marvin Miller.

I also find it puzzling that the committee votes on umpires, like Doug Harvey, who inexplicably received more votes (52) than Miller. What, exactly, is the standard by which one judges whether someone is a Hall of Fame-caliber umpire? It can't just be longevity, any more than a long career means that a player gets in. Tony Gwynn was, by any objective measure, a better hitter during the prime of his career than 99 percent of his peers. By what objective measure is Harvey being measured?

The other advantage of doing away with the Veterans Committee is that it would end the biennial whining that occurs when Ron Santo does not get elected. I am old enough to remember a good chunk of Santo's career. He was a very good player, as these number show, but he does not belong in the Hall of Fame. Simply put, he was not great, and he hasn't gotten any better just because he has stayed in the public eye as a Cubs' announcer. If anyone has a gripe it is Jim Kaat, who pitched for 25 years, won 283 games, and might be the best fielding pitcher ever, having won 16 Gold Gloves, including an astonishing 12 straight.

Friday, February 23, 2007

Tastes Like Chicken

Ixnay on the "beef" burritos.

Quote of the Day

"He believes he will go back to the brig and he will die there." -- Patricia Zapf, a forensic psychologist testifying at a hearing to determine whether Jose Padilla is competent to stand trial.

Gee, whatever gave him that idea?

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Turning Left -- A Lot

I answer this question with a resounding yes. But overwhelming viewers with their properties has been ESPN's way of doing business for a long time. If you're not complaining about the NFL, NBA, or MLB, then you have to suck it up when it comes to NASCAR. Although the sign described here pretty much summarizes my feelings (FCB Shout Out: Deadspin).

Hey, at least it's not soccer.

Exacta

Despicable and delusional at the same time. The Prince of Darkness carries forth.

Sunday, February 18, 2007

Ouch

This comment arrived in the FCB in-box this weekend. It's good to know that someone who reads FCB (or who at least stumbles over here) is a Beckham or soccer fan. I am trying to be generous and ignore the possibility that he or she is into the Spice Girls.

FCB is an equal opportunity blog and welcomes readers who are fans of all sports, even the exceptionally boring ones.

Friday, February 16, 2007

Hell Hath No Fury

So I guess this means that no reconciliation is in the works for those crazy Kidds (Hat Tip: Deadspin). My favorite detail: Jason allegedly hit her with a cookie. I'm betting it was a Chips Ahoy.

Quote of the Day

"I don't want people to think this is a joke." -- T. Milton Street, Sr., announcing his candidacy for mayor of Philadelphia.

Too late.

Thursday, February 15, 2007

Dunder Head

If, like FCB, you are a fan of The Office, you should check out this site, at which a labor and employment attorney analyzes each episode and estimates how much it would cost a company to defend the lawsuits that would be filed if their managers acted like the clueless Michael Scott (FCB Shoutout: WSJ Law Blog).

Quote of the Day

"There is a method to this madness." -- City Managing Director Pedro Ramos, using a particularly unfortunate turn of phrase given the state of City services, trying to explain why so little plowing occurred in response to yesterday's significant snow.

While that snow was not being cleared, Mayor Street was giving a speech citing his many accomplishments. Having a clue was not among them.

Here We Go Again

Now it's Justice Anthony Kennedy's turn to moan and groan about judicial pay.

All reasonable people can agree that federal judges should get the usual types of cost-of-living increases awarded routinely to other federal employees. But, as I have pointed out before, this "the judges are leaving, the judges are leaving" hysteria can't be supported. Justice Kennedy has been a federal judge for 30 years. Chief Justice Roberts left a seven-figure partnership to become a federal judge. If the pay is such a problem, why did they make such economically irrational choices? Could it be that there are non-monetary compensations, such as everyone standing up when you enter a room; really interesting work; and the power to make lawyers actually stop talking?

In addition, according to this calculation by the Wall Street Journal Law Blog, the current pay of federal judges is just slightly below what it has been, on average, for nearly 40 years, using inflation-adjusted dollars. What really irks these judges is that private sector lawyers and law professors now can make a whole lot more. Well, life is full of choices.

If some judges leave each year for better-paying jobs, so be it. There are plenty more highly qualified lawyers where they came from.

Update

A judge has dismissed the case against MySpace I wrote about last month (Hat Tip: How Appealing). Four teenage girls had been sexually assaulted by a man who the girls had met on MySpace, so their parents sued the web site, claiming it had a duty to protect its underage users. "If anyone had a duty to protect [the girls], it was [their] parents, not MySpace," said U.S. District Court Judge Sam Sparks.

What a concept.

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Quote of the Day -- Valentine's Day Edition

"Mr. Fiennes became amorous towards me and, after a short period of time, I convinced him to leave the toilet." -- Qantas Airlines flight attendant Lisa Robertson, speaking about actor Ralph Fiennes, who apparently took a liking to Ms. Robertson during a flight.

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

It's Not Just Me

This take on Rudy Giuliani didn't come from me, but I wish it had. And were I Torquemada's lawyer, I would tell him to sue.

Paying the Piper

This column by Mark Yost in today's Wall Street Journal reflects a lot of what I have been thinking regarding the recent rash of publicity about ex-NFLers who have significant health issues. It is difficult not to conclude that many of the complaints, especially from players now in their 50s and older, is mostly bitterness about giving up so much physically for so little financially and, as the column notes, jealousy of later players who can earn so much more. But no one forced them to do it.

The most dangerous part of my job is avoiding a burned tongue from my morning coffee, yet I have had disability insurance for years. How many pro football players have used some of their money to purchase such a policy while they were still young and healthy? And I don't understand any of the arguments we are now hearing about how low NFL pensions are. My question is: why do former players get any pension at all? According to the web site of the NFL Players Association, the average NFL career lasts about three-and-a-half seasons. So let's say your career is exceptional and you play 10 seasons. How many jobs pay significant pensions for 10 years of service? For seven?

No one takes pleasure in seeing people suffer physically. But the sense of entitlement coming from some of these former players is unwarranted.

And, by the way, Tiki Barber is a very smart man.

Saturday, February 10, 2007

How Many Sides of His Mouth Are There?

More on the horror that is Rudy Giuliani. Since he lacks the integrity to embrace his long-stated positions or the courage to say that he has changed them, he has to resort to code words like "strict constructionist" to try to persuade right-wing voters to support him. So even though he says he supports a woman's constitutional right to choose an abortion, he wants people to believe that he will appoint Supreme Court justices who will take that right away. As usual, it is all -- and only -- about Rudy.

Friday, February 09, 2007

Hope It Was Good for You

The Smoking Gun has a copy of Harold Reynold's contract, which ESPN terminated after Reynolds gave what he calls "an innocuous hug" to a female intern. The six-year contract was worth about $800,000 annually and required Reynolds to work about 100 days a year. Nice work if you can get it.

I don't know about you, but if a hug were going to cost me almost $5 million, I would want it to be a whole lot better than "innocuous."

Get Around, Get Around, I Get Around

And now it's a three-man race. He seems a little young for her.

Thursday, February 08, 2007

In Space, No One Hears You Pee

NASA has announced that it will be checking out stalkernaut Lisa Nowak to see if it "missed anything along the way." I guess they mean something other than her complete psychological breakdown.

The first thing NASA needs to do is check the flight records to see if the space shuttle Nowak flew on last year made any unscheduled stops here. That would explain a lot.

Closing In?

Since there seems to be little doubt that Scooter Libby lied -- and, consistent with how most things are done in the Bush Administration, in a particularly incompetent way -- one key question remains: Why did the Prince of Darkness care so much about Joseph Wilson and what he said? I think Andrew Sullivan has it right.

Libby should have lots of time in prison to figure it out. Right after he comes up with a new nickname -- "Scooter" won't cut it even in minimum security.

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Commissioner for a Day

Although the pro football season has only been over for two days, it's not too early to begin planning for next season. Here are my suggestions for how the already wildly successful NFL could become even more popular and exciting:

  • No more kicking of extra points. Nothing is less exciting than watching someone score a touchdown only to watch a different set of players trot on to the field to kick the extra point. The kickers almost never miss, and when they do it usually is because of a poor snap, as happened during the Super Bowl after the Colts' first touchdown, or a flubbed hold, as happened to Tony Romo in the Cowboys-Saints' game. The play is so dull that fans usually continue celebrating the touchdown and don't even pay attention to the extra point play. How to make the extra point as meaningful as the others plays run during the game? Easy. Let the offense choose how far from the goal line they wish to try for the extra point. The farther back they go, the more points they get. So, you get two points for the standard distance (three yards), three points for 10 yards, four points for 20 yards, etc. I will let the NFL figure out the details, but the point is to reward the offense for taking greater risks. And I would reward the defense, too, by awarding half as many points to them for stopping the offense, e.g., one point for successfully defending from the standard distance.
  • No more touchbacks. Yeah, there is nothing like watching Devin Hester take a knee in the end zone to get the frenzy quotient way up. I realize that touchbacks have become rarer since they have moved the kickoff spot back to the 30-yard line. But one touchback a year is one too many. The kick return can be one of the most exciting moments in a game. Make them run every one back, no matter where they field the ball.
  • No field goals inside 40 yards. Kickers are now so good, especially those lucky enough to kick in domes, that any attempt inside 40 yards is just a glorified extra point. As you can see from my proposed rule changes, I find the kicking part of the game to be one big bore. Either make it much harder or just get rid of it.
  • No more instant replay. What brainiacs in the NFL thought it would be a good idea to stop the game and have players and coaches stand around and do nothing while the referee jogs off the field to stare at a television monitor? People apparently pay $80 a ticket to watch this happen. This drive to remove the human element from officiating baffles me. The decisions made by players and coaches during games are debated endlessly (people will be talking about Andy Reid punting on 4th and 15 in the Saints game for months to come), and it is those very debates that are a large part of the popularity of a sport that plays only one game a week for about five months of the year. Yet somehow the NFL thinks that decisions made by officials have to be free of all error. Like officials in other sports, they will get it right a large percentage of the time and get it wrong on occasion. Sometimes, they will get a call wrong in a crucial spot. Sometimes, such wrong calls will seem unfair or unjust, and one team will feel like they got screwed. We have a word for that: Life. The perfectionistas in the NFL just have to get over it.

Spaced Out

You can't make this stuff up. Am I the only one who thinks it's weird that the judge would grant bail to someone who has access to astronaut diapers and a space shuttle?

I was able to get a copy of Mr. Nowak's To Do List for tomorrow:

1. Call divorce lawyer.

2. Get the car detailed!!!

Sunday, February 04, 2007

Money and Me

Inquirer columnist John Grogan has announced that he is leaving the paper. This is hardly a surprise, given that keeping track of the millions of dollars he has made from his runaway bestseller Marley and Me likely is a full-time job of its own. Good for him.

I've not read Marley and Me, since books about cute dead animals (oops -- hope I didn't give away the ending) are not my thing. But having waded through more than a few of Grogan's columns, I find it astonishing that he could write a book that millions of people would want to buy. I find the guy unreadable. His farewell column is pretty much an example of much of his work -- usually trite, always predictable, never interesting.

Unlike Marley, Grogan won't be missed.

Put A Lid On It

Later tonight, within seconds of the end of the Super Bowl, players and coaches on the winning team will continue the now-entrenched custom on putting on a hat saying "Super Bowl XLI Champion" or some such thing. You see this in most team sports now, pro and college, and in some cases the post-championship look includes a T-shirt as well.

When did this ridiculous practice begin? And, more important, how do we get it to stop?

I suppose it's a promotional tie-in to the sale of such merchandise, but I can't imagine anyone not already inclined to buy such things being persuaded to do so by the sight of Bill Belichick in a hat or a T-shirt. Half the time the hats and shirts still have their price tags dangling from them, instantly transforming their wearers from newly crowned champions to participants in a bizarre mass Minnie Pearl tribute.

Please stop it.

The Time Has Come

It's about two and a half hours to kickoff, so I have made you wait long enough. Here's the inaugural FCB Bet The Mortgage Super Bowl pick:

Colts 41

Bears 17

That has been my score all week, so I am sticking with it now. But weather forecast is rain for most or all of the game, so if that holds true I would expect the Colts to score fewer points but still win handily. Take the Colts, give the points, and enjoy spending those mortgage payments on something fun.

Two Thumbs Up

Most of my movie watching of late has been of the Netflix variety, but it's Oscar season, so Mrs. FCB and I have ventured out twice in recent days for a real movie experience. You know, the kind where you can't hit the pause button when you want to go to the bathroom and you get to hear the banal conversations of the people in front of you -- while the movie is playing.

I know that with the death of Pauline Kael and the recent unfortunate illness of Roger Ebert, the cineophiles among the FCB readership are looking for a place to find intelligent and insightful movie criticism. Unfortunately, the link to that site isn't working, so instead I will tell you what I thought of the two films I have seen in recent days.

First, The Departed. How ironic that Martin Scorsese, whose best known works in recent years have been showy and cinematic "films" like Casino, Goodfellas, Gangs of New York, and The Aviator, has a Best Picture nominee and is the directing Oscar favorite for an old-fashioned movie. I liked The Departed a lot. Its story of two moles -- Leonardo DiCaprio as a cop embedded in Jack Nicholson's Irish mobster gang and Matt Damon as Nicholson's plant on the police force -- searching for each other is straightforward, well-told, dramatic, and riveting as it unfolds to its violent (hey, it's Scorsese) and not-altogether predictable conclusion. DiCaprio is terrific, blowing by an overmatched Damon and the expected but still entertaining Jack-being-Jack performance by Nicholson. DiCaprio is Oscar-nominated for his role in Blood Diamonds, and if he is better there than in The Departed, then he must have done one remarkable job on that picture (he was great in The Aviator as well).

Some have complained about the violence in The Departed (I thought it appropriate to the subject matter and not overdone -- but I admit to a high tolerance for that sort of thing) as well as its length, but these seem like quibbles. It's a really good, solid, entertaining movie.

And then there is Pan's Labyrinth. Wow. I mean, really, WOW. This is a great movie, one of the best I have seen in a long, long time. Run, don't walk, to see this picture.

The film is set in 1944 Spain. The Spanish Civil War has ended, but government troops are still fighting rebel holdouts ensconced in the mountains. The movie's central character is Ofelia, 11, whose widowed mother has married and become pregnant by the cruel, fascist captain commanding a remote outpost fighting a band of rebels. The captain requires Ofelia and her mother to make the difficult journey to the outpost because a son (he is sure the baby will be a boy) should be with his father when he is born. To cope with the strange and difficult surroundings, as well as a fearsome stepfather she rightly despises, Ofelia retreats into a fantasy world, in which she learns that she is a long-lost princess who can become immortal by successfully carrying out a series of tasks given to her by a faun.

The intersection of the child's fantasy world with the brutal reality occurring around her is at once depressing, shocking, uplifting, and, ultimately, heart-breaking. Director Guillermo del Toro, who received an Oscar nomination for his original screenplay (the film also is nominated for Best Foreign Language Film), does an amazing job of using the fantasy sequences to both inform and advance the "real" parts of the story, inevitably bringing the two together in a stunning final quarter of the movie that teaches us, yet again, that reality must prevail.

Wow.

Saturday, February 03, 2007

Good News

He should have been fired, but this is the next best thing.

Thursday, February 01, 2007

Word of the Day

The most interesting thing in this Inquirer article about the sale of the Thomas Eakins' painting The Cello Player is not that the Pennsylvania Academy of the Fine Arts is unloading one famous Eakins' painting so that it can pay for its purchase of a more famous Eakins' painting, The Gross Clinic.

No, what is really striking is that the people who run museums don't sell paintings. They "deaccession" them. Maybe it makes them feel better to say it that way.

Average Joe

Well, if you had Day One in the When Will Candidate Joe Biden Say Something Exceptionally Stupid Contest, you're a winner! Even I, who expect an glacier to crumble everytime he starts to speak, thought that Biden would make it past 9 a.m. on the first day of his presidential campaign before reminding everyone of just why they shouldn't vote for him. How wrong I was.

The Biden campaign should be fun. Pointless, but fun.

Death Watch

I've written before about my interest in obituaries, which I read as faithfully as any other part of the paper. This week two of them left me more saddened than usual.

There was Barbaro, of course, whose very public fight for survival seemed to captivate so many. While I was not as affected as those who seemed unusually -- even weirdly -- emotionally attached to an animal they had only seen on television, I found it hard not to feel a twinge of sadness once the battle was lost. There is nothing like a champion horse fighting for life, or a cat stuck in a hole, or some other animal story to focus our emotional attention in ways that starving babies and genocide stories never do. Maybe it is because the animals in our lives don't disappoint us. Or that they rely on us so much for everything. Or something else. I have no great insights here, but I have been thinking about all this recently as I happily clean out a cat box twice a day.

And then there was the sad news this morning that Molly Ivins died yesterday after a long battle with breast cancer. Her writing voice was like no other -- and she was funny. Of course, as she often acknowledged, since she wrote about Texas politics, she had the advantage of great material.

Rest in peace.